Introduction: The Bible has instruction for every person, this includes husbands and wives. This lesson only has two points:
- The Wife is to walk in submission toward her husband vs 22-24
- The Husband is to walk in Love toward his wife vs 25-33
- The Wife is to walk in Submission– vs 22 (the act of yielding to power or authority). In this passage of scripture Paul compares marriage to the relationship between Christ and his church, which is us. These verses are often abused by husbands who do no love their wives. Both spouses must be submitted to the Lord.
- It’s to your own Husband- Vs 22 “unto your own husbands”. A woman may not want to submit to anyone including her husband. It’s in the nature of man not to submit to authority unless being forced to do so. If you submit to another man, you may find temptations and problems. Titus 2:4-5 “obedient to their own husbands”.
- It’s God’s Will- vs 22 “as unto the Lord”. The woman submits to her husband because she desires to please God. When a woman loves the Lord and wants to please God, she understands that God’s will is always the best will. I Peter 3:1, 5 “being in subjection unto their own husbands”. They were pleasing the Lord and their husbands at the same time. We must always obey the authority God has placed over us, unless they are overridden by a higher authority.
- It’s God’s Order- vs 23 “the husband is the head of the wife”, just like “Christ is the head of the Church”- Ephesians 1:22-23, 4:15 “which is the head, even Christ”. I Corinthians 11:3 “But I would have you know, that the head of every man in Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”.
- It’s God’s Measure- vs 24 “in everything”, even if he is not right with God – I Peter 3:1-6. Where he is off with God, we must obey “as unto the Lord”. Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord”.
- It’s God’s Pattern- vs 23-24 “even as Christ is the head of the church” vs 24 “as the church is subject unto Christ”. This is the best pattern to follow I Peter 3:1-4. Jesus Christ is the head of the church and He loves his church, puts its needs ahead of his own, serves the church, cares for the church with much grace, mercy, compassion, and tenderheartedness. Your not just the boss and run the show.
- The Wife is to be Subject to her Husband- Vs 24- the husband is the head of the wife in authority, function, and order. We understand that man and woman are created equal. Genesis 3:13, 16 “and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”. Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord”.
- The Wife is to Reverence her Husband- Vs 33 the wife is to “see that she reverence her husband”. That is to respect and esteem her husband. This includes in and out of his presence.
- The Husband is to Love his Wife– vs 25 “Husbands, love your wives”. If the husband loved his wife with selfless and unselfish love, giving and sacrificial love, our marriages would be much better for it.
- Sacrificially- vs 25 “even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. Christ gave himself, all He was and all He had, for the church and the husband is to give himself to his wife and the relationship with all he has and is. Serving the wife, meeting her needs, putting her ahead of himself.
- Set Apart- vs 26 “sanctify and cleanse”. Since the man leads and guides the home, he should be sanctified which is to be set apart unto God from the World, and the way this happens is by the “Word”, “with the washing of water by the word”. God speaks to us through His Word and we need to be in connection with Him by reading it daily. It’s also what washes away all kinds of doubts, fears, insecurities, sin, bad thoughts, etc.
- Must be without spot or wrinkle or any such thing- vs 27 these are the things in the marriage that shake a marriage. Mistakes that can tarnish a marriage, mistreat, abuse, loose living, temper reactions, broken promises, selfishness, etc. I Peter 3:7 “as being heirs together of the grace of life”.
- Must be holy and without blemish- separate from anything that defiles the marriage. Real love- that stirs him to be holy and unblemished. When we said yes to her we said no to the rest of the ladies. Don’t entertain anything that comes from other woman that would cause you to go down the wrong path.
- As much as He loves his own body- vs 28 “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies”. Vs 29- We are to nourish and cherish our wives as we do our own body. We are to take care of her physical needs, to feed, clothe, nurture, hold dear, with affection, and tenderness. To cherish is to treat with tenderness, affection, and appreciation.
- Important closing remarks- Vs 33 the husband is to “love his wife even as himself”. Because we love ourselves very much, we shave, bathe, dress up, go to the gym, spend some alone time, etc.
- The husbands only authority over the wife is from the Lord.
- Honor Your Wife- I Peter 3:7 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel”.
Conclusion: When one party complies with his/her responsibility only when the other is doing it, it’s like a merry-go-round, no one does it right. The husband and the wife both have a responsibility and it has to get done.
Anchor Baptist Church is an independent, Bible-Believing Baptist church in Kingsville, Texas, committed to biblical preaching, teaching, evangelism, and discipleship.
